Recipe

1. Take out the giblets – these are the innards that come usually in a bag inside the turkey. The neck, all the little organs except the liver all go in the gravy so set them aside. The liver you can throw away or if you’re village like me panfry for a snack with some herbs, shallot and butter on some crusty bread with apricot preserves.
2. Trim excess skin off the turkey – if it hangs loose, take your shears and cut it off. Then discard.
3. NOW THE FUN PART. Here’s a little video (https://www.marthastewart.com/355976/roast-spatchcocked-turkey#), but what you do is turn the turkey chest down. Put a towel or something underneath because if it’s slipping and sliding you may hurt yourself. I find it’s easier to start between the legs – use your shears to cut along the spine laterally on either side. When it gets too hard to use the shears, I take out the knife I just sharpened and basically saw my way all the way down the back of the turkey. The guy in the video is doing it a lot more gracefully than I or any of you will and that’s okay. I treat it like eyeliner – don’t go all the way down in one go. Work in sections, work backwards. Sometimes I end up chiseling my way down with my knife in one hand and my other hand tapping it down. It’s not going to be cute.
4. Okay now that your backbone is out, take the same knife and dig it into the breastbone to break it. Turn your turkey over, lay it flat with the legs splayed, and with your best two biceps like you’re giving the turkey CPR, SMASH DOWN until the breastbone breaks and lays flat. I usually have to stand on a stool to get leverage. This is the part where you put your back into it.
5. In a separate bowl, zest the oranges, add your salt. If you’re doing a 15 pound turkey, you’ll want 3 tablespoons of salt and a tablespoon and a half of allspice. If you want other spices or herbs – add them! Experiment! This is your time to shine! Mix well so the scent of the zest has married with the salt, use your fingers to rub it all around if you have to.
6. Season the turkey well, evenly, front and back. Find a way to get it in a couple bags that you can seal. Refrigerate. The night before you are to roast it, you can take it out of the bag and lay it flat so that the skin dries out some and is crispidier. I usually do not have this foresight.
   

Gravy:

Now we’re going to make our stock for gravy! A note on this: since the dry brined turkey drippings end up being salty, I don’t salt until the very end after I decide if I’m going to use any drippings at all. I find sometimes it’s really stressful to wait until the end to collect drippings, skim and separate fat, and add. Since the turkey back is already in the stock and has imparted fat and flavor, it’s plenty delicious on its own. 

1. Use a pan big enough to brown all your goodies. Sometimes I cut the back in half if it won’t lay flat, or use a big and deep saute pan. Put some oil (or clarified butter if you love yourself) down and brown the giblets (remember that’s everything except liver), the neck, and back on all sides. Don’t be afraid to achieve some color. You want a flavorful stock, so really let the turkey bits brown.
2. While that’s browning, roughly chop the onion, celery, carrot (one of each or two of each is fine, sorry. I know you just bought a bag of celery for this purpose. when can we start buying celery singles?!). Add them to the browned turkey pieces and let them get acquainted.
   
3. Next, add your herbs – I use a HEALTHY amount of thyme, bay leaf, and if you got a ‘poultry pack’ of herbs from the store with sage or other goodies in it throw that in too. Add a tablespoon of cracked peppercorns, a couple cloves, and several shakes of both allspice and paprika.
4. Pour in four cups of water. Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer.
5. Reduce to about 2 ½ cups (not that you’re going to measure it). I usually check to see if it’s about halfway down the level of the pot from where I started and turn it off.
6. Pick out the turkey pieces and set aside. Strain the rest and discard the solids. Add the turkey neck meat back in if you have the self control not to eat it as a snack.
7. Pour the liquid in a container to let the fat come to the top and try to skim some of it off. I don’t stress about this.
8. In a second pot, put down three tablespoons of butter and let it get foamy. Add three tablespoons of flour and start whisking! You want to cook the flour taste out, so don’t be afraid to let it get a little golden.
9. Add ¼ cup of stock and whisk with ferociously. When the liquid incorporated and starts looking thick (like me) add another ¼ and keep whisking! Add two more additions of about ¼ of a cup while whisking and then pour the rest of the stock in.
10. Simmer to let the gravy thicken to your desired consistency, then let it cool down. It will be drastically under-salted – if you want to add some turkey juices the day of, leave it that way and salt it at the end. If not, go ahead and salt to taste. You can also round out the flavors by adding more of the spices you used earlier. Refrigerate until Thanksgiving!

Turkey day:

1. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F.
2. Take the turkey out and wipe off any glaring excess salt.
3. Lay the turkey flat on a rack that fits comfortably in a roasting pan. This is harder with a butterflied bird because the surface area is so large. One year I very, very meticulously cleaned the actual oven rack, put a rack on that rack, and a big disposable aluminum pan on the lower rack to put stock in and catch drippings (I was feeding 35 people!). Alternatively, you can chop up the rest of that bag of carrots, onions, celery and put the turkey directly on top of the aromatics instead of using a rack.
4. I put the compound butter all under the skin really get in there, and overtop the bird. Set some chicken stock or water in the bottom of the pan and try to keep that level constant throughout so that the pan doesn’t burn.
5. Put the whole contraption in the oven for 30 minutes, then turn down to 400 degrees F. baste the bird with some of the stock from the bottom, and cover with foil.
6. You want to roast for 10 minutes per pound, until the internal temperature of the inner thigh is 165 degrees when measured with a meat thermometer. THIS IS VARIABLE – I usually check an hour after I turn the temperature down and baste again, and then maybe every 30 minutes after. Every time you open the oven you let heat out, so it’ll take longer the more times you check. If towards the end, it’s getting to temperature but its not brown the way you like, you can take the foil back off.
7. Once you get to 165, take out the turkey and put it on the counter and cover with the same foil for 30 minutes while it rests.
8. Put your gravy in a pot and bring back to a simmer. Use a VERY SMALL JUDICIOUS AMOUNT of turkey drippings for the gravy and taste as you go so you don’t over salt it.
9. Serve. Then sit down. You did that!